5 Lessons I Learned from One of My Biggest Failures

 Today I woke up in Las Vegas, Nevada, trying not to have regrets. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but what I did was broadcast to all my friends, family, followers, and the YouTube world. I came here to compete in the USPA National Powerlifting Competition and got disqualified. Here are 5 lessons I learned from one of my biggest failures.

1. Sometimes Your Best Isn’t Good Enough

I spent the last 4 months of my life focused on one thing—training for the USPA National competition in Las Vegas, Nevada, on June 26th, 2024. I trained on the days I felt energetic, motivated, and strong, and I trained on the days I felt tired, unmotivated, and sore. I delayed vacation travel, missed events, and skipped my annual family getaway. I didn’t miss a workout. I got stronger in every lift. I felt prepared. But within 30 minutes of competition, I failed every single lift and was disqualified. I am reminded that there is no such thing as perfect, and you can only control what you can control.

As a kid, I was always a Type A person and would be upset if I got a grade lower than I expected or if something didn’t go the way I wanted. My mother [Raheemahullah - May God have mercy on her] used to ask me with every success or failure, “Did you do your best?” She would remind me that if you did your best with the knowledge and ability you had at that time, then it's a success no matter the outcome.

I did my best, Ummie.

2. Finish What You Started

In the sport of powerlifting, the first of the three lifts is the squat. You get 3 attempts. You have to make at least one of those 3 attempts to be “on the board” and your lifts count towards the competition. I failed all 3 of my first attempts. The first one was from a technical error of shifting my hips after the command, the second one was from a lack of strength, and the third was from another technical error for depth. The judge came over and asked the dreaded 5 words, “Do you want to continue?” I immediately said, “Yes.” That meant when I left the stage, I was disqualified from the competition, but I would continue as a “guest lifter” knowing none of my remaining lifts would count.

I’ve been training for this for 4 months. I came here to push myself out of my comfort zone. I continued as a “guest lifter” in the competition, doing bench press and deadlifts knowing that I could not set state records or even have my totals recorded. But I was focusing on doing my personal best. By the end of the day, I hit some personal records with numbers I didn’t think I could push. That 180 lbs (81.6 kg) bench press and 374 lbs (169.6 kg) deadlift were sweet.  

3. Success is Not ONE Thing

In the two and a half years since I started powerlifting, I’ve been focused on getting stronger and pushing the genetic potential I have. I’ve become strong. Really strong. I can now squat and deadlift at elite powerlifter levels, and my bench press isn’t far behind. I’m less than 100 lbs away from collectively lifting 1,000 pounds with my squat, bench, and deadlift combined. But strength is not enough. There are technical aspects of powerlifting that I had not focused on. It’s more than just being able to “lift things up and put them down.” I failed MOST of my lifts from technical errors. And those very small things can make or break you: moving my hips one too many times, not dropping down 2 inches lower, pushing the weight 1 second before the judge says lift. I keep saying powerlifting has taught me discipline. It’s apparent that I’m not done with my lessons.

4. Failure is Not Final

In my mind, I keep going over what I did wrong.

“I should have done more competitions last year.”

“I could have focused more on technique and form during training and not just strength.”

“If I would have started my first squat with lighter weights, I would have gotten on the board.”

But “should have,” “could have,” and “would have” do not change things. I can’t go back and do all the things. What I can do is take the lessons, learn from them, and continue moving forward. When I returned to my hotel room, I went online and registered for another competition in 3 months. This is not the end.

5. Remember The Big Picture

I competed on June 26th with my husband standing by my side. On June 27th, we celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary. I’m not sad about yesterday because I’m immediately reminded of the big picture. Powerlifting is now part of who I am, but it’s not the whole picture. Seeing the pride on my husband’s face every time I walked on the platform, the excited texts from my kids, peeking at the family WhatsApp conversation between my sisters and nieces and nephews sharing the YouTube link to watch, and the encouraging messages from my clients and friends—even as they watched me fail, they reassured me that this is just one of the things I do, it’s not who I am. I am not my failures or my successes. I am a well-rounded, complex individual deserving of the family, friends, and community that hold me. Thank you.